Wednesday, 1 June 2016
All is Well
Hello Friends and Family!
What a crazy ride this is. Ok so a little background on how I have been doing. In the MTC the first week was just insane. Everyday was a super big challenge with something really hard I had to learn. It just was so hard to be ok with everything. I felt so imperfect and beat myself up over every little thing. The schedule was so intense and just "gogogo" that I felt like I had no time to think or catch up and I was just all over the place. We were already teaching from day one and I didn't really know how and my companions had a different style of teaching and I just couldn't even. Fortunately however, Heavenly Father put something or someone in my path everyday to help me power through it. Then Thursday evening after a lesson I was just feeling so inadequate and wondering how I was going to do this ever when a teacher that had come to help in class that day helped me learn a very important lesson. I wrote this in my study journal. "God loves me. He loves where I am at. Where I am at is great. He wants me to be where I am, and where I am at. He needs me to accept the power of Jesus Christ. This power is truly sufficient AT ALL TIMES, IN ALL PLACES, AND IN ALL THINGS. My mistakes are not... surprises. God already sees me beyond my mistakes. ...[Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ] have joy in our growth as we make mistakes. We are here to be righteous, not perfect." From that day on after realizing this the MTC was an amazing and wonderful experience. I was able to feel comfortable with not being perfect. I was fine making my mistakes because it was all for a reason and I knew with my entire soul that God does not want me to fail, but will instead set me up for success even as I make many mistakes. The next 2 weeks at the MTC were just great. Not perfect, but I was so much more peaceful and happy. I could let things come as they may and let it all just happen.
Now here out in the mission field has been very similar. The first week was really a struggle. So many new trials and struggles just appeared and it seemed like I was back to square one. The confidence and knowledge I had coming out of the MTC seemed to amount to nothing. My expectations or ideas of how life would be out here was different. Not having gone to Reno was difficult. Again feeling like I know nothing and that I am very inadequate were big feelings. It has felt like so much more than a week and a half out here. However God put people in my path to give me help and support, especially my companion Elder Moore. He has given me some key advice that has really gotten me to where I am now. I still don't really know what I am doing. I still don't know how to teach everything, but that is all ok. God sent me here at this time because what I can do now and how I do things are able to help someone here. I don't have to know everything. I can't really. I haven't even been out in the real world for 2 weeks. However, my life is very happy. We have so much to do. We are teaching so many people and there is so many miracles happening everyday. I will figure it out. For now, as the hymn "Come, Come ye Saints" says "no toil no labor fear, but with joy wend your way." This work is great, and also very tiring. I am tired. haha. That is good though. Means we are working hard.
Alrighty to the days. Today Brother Moss took us golfing. It was so great. I scored a 137! I'm so good. Elder Moore only got a 109 I believe. My score is way higher so obviously I won. That's how golf works right? Brother Moss works at the golf course so that's how we got to go. Ok amazing stories. Yesterday at church I had to give a talk. I was supposed to give one the week before but when we got to church we found out a high councilor was speaking and had brought someone else with him to talk so I didn't end up giving it. Saturday though a member who had offered to drive people to a baptism in Winnipeg had to cancel that ride due to the work he was doing taking longer than expected. He said that he needed to give a talk too so he needed time to write it unless one of us could give it. I asked if it would help him out and he said that it would take a lot of stress off of him so I said sure. The topic was the priesthood. I tried that night for a while writing something as well as in the morning and I could not focus for the life of me. The week before I was having such an easy time knowing what to write on the topic before but this time nada. I kept praying asking for help for focus and help on knowing what to write like the week before but it didn't happen. During one prayer I had a small impression that I would know what to say when I got up to the pulpit, but it left quickly. I knew it had been there and after all I felt was that I needed to have faith. I kept trying to find things to talk about which worked and have some plan but that wasn't working. When I got to church I did feel some peace keeping me from freaking out. We even had a high councilor attending which surprisingly didn't add much stress. When I got up I began to talk and just kept talking. Things I had studied the last 12 hour, suggestions on what to talk about from Elder Moore, and just other things to say did come to me. Nothing that ever felt insanely inspiring came to my mind but I always had something more to say. It was really neat. The scripture D&C 85:84 "Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man" is so true. Anyway running out of time but next week I will have many more amazing experiences for you. There isn't enough time to say it all which is meh but I will make a list of things I hope to get to next week. I love you my family and friends. What I will challenge you to all do this week is think of some way you can help and support the missionaries. We love the members. They are all so great.
Elder Kynan Sorochan